Feelings so Hard to Kill
by Ginger2
Summary: It starts off the night after Normal Again. What happens when Buffy just can't take the Stress anymore. Xander finds out about B/S and something happens to him... B/S maybe.
1. Emotions

1 Title: Feelings so Hard to Kill  
  
2 Author: Ginger  
  
Email: Katharina_angel1@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon and UPN.  
  
Rating: PG13 for now  
  
Summary: What happens after Normal Again  
  
Authors note: Hope you like it. It's my first fanfic.  
  
3 Timeline: The night after Normal Again  
  
Feedback: Please Review.  
  
4  
  
5 Chapter 1  
  
Her now short hair fluttered in her ears as she ran out her anger and frustration. A million thoughts raced through her mind, and no matter how hard she tried to direct her thoughts away from the bleached nightmare and the events of that afternoon, they were all she could think about.  
  
'Did he mean it?' thought Buffy settling on thinking about Spike, because he was the second most disturbing train of though, as she slowed down to register her surroundings. ' The graveyard. How is it that the worst part of my life revolves around this place and still when I need comfort, a distraction or a reason to go on living I find myself here.'  
  
She continued to walk passed tombstones, not watching where she was going only allowing her self to be guided on instinct. She cleared her mind, listened and tried to find peace. Of Course she couldn't find it. Not after what happened earlier that day. 'How could I have just given up like that? ... Did I make the right decision? ... Is this real, or just my mental hospital worthy brain, giving this story another twist? ...' Buffy cringed as these questions flew around in her head. Then she thought of her biggest problem, 'Will they ever forgive me? Will Dawn ever forgive me?'  
  
She looked up at her surroundings and recognized where she was. "Buffy Summers. She saved the world a lot." As Buffy read the words on her tombstone she broke down crying. " I...bet th...they won't...put th...that on my...next one." She managed between sobs. She hadn't come back here since awoke in her grave and was forced to crawl her way out like a Vampire so many months before 'They'll probably put 'Buffy Summers. Maybe she'll realize now this world is real.'' With that as her last coherent thought she cried herself into a fitful sleep on her grave.  
  
  
  
"Hey Dawny," said Willow with a forced cheerfulness as Dawn walked into the kitchen where Willow was cleaning the dishes.  
  
" Hey" replied Dawn with none of Willows attempts. "So...Buffy's back to her usual non-existent self."  
  
"Huh...I thought she was still sleeping after her rough day yesterday." A note of concern entering Willow's voice. "Never heard her go out last night. But then again she could have just snuk out the window like she used to."  
  
"Nope...but I guess it's better this way. Now she can avoid us and pretend this is her perfect reality. You know the one without the sister who is a freak and steals her quality time with mom and dad"  
  
"What are you talking about. You're one of the few reasons she tries to survive each day. Do you know how easy it would have been for her just to give up, not to have to deal with the pain I caused her. We were all that held her in this dimension. You're the reason she works at that horrible job each night and comes home smelling like grease." Willow said sharply. "And do you think you have been any help always complaining about your own problems. Thinking that the world revolves around you. Grow up! Buffy has it hard enough trying to live. Up until a month or so ago she didn't care if she died. Can you really blame her for not wanting to be here. For a moment believing that maybe the world with demons in it isn't real, and she isn't a super hero, with unreal powers... For believing that she never left the mental hospital where her parents put her 6 years ago." Willow finished her uncharacteristic rant.  
  
Dawn felt about as small as an ant. Willow was right. All she ever thought about was her self. She never even considered how Buffy might feel. Buffy had always been the strong one. The one that could save the world. Maybe that wasn't the real Buffy, just a cover, a cover probably put up to protect Dawn from the truth. That she could die any moment. And when she finally died and got to rest, without the pain and fear she had lived with for 5 years. She got dragged back into this reality where she had to fight every second against the world. And I only made it harder.  
  
"I feel better now." Said Willow firmly. "Let's go find Buffy."  
  
"It isn't your fault you know," said Dawn, realizing for the first time the rest of what Willow had said. "You only wanted to help her."  
  
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Whispered Willow quietly. As they exited out the kitchen door with Dawn in toe.  
  
TBC  
  
Ps. Hope you liked it. Don't worry the next chapter will be more interesting. I just had to set up the emotions, and yell at Dawn. 


	2. Comfort

All information on the first page of Chapter 1.  
  
Authors note: please review so I know people are reading this.  
  
Comfort  
  
Spike just couldn't stay still. He went from sitting, to pacing, to destroying his crypt and over again. "Bloody Buffy that damned bloody girl will be the bloody end of Me.," ranted Spike. 'Then why do I love her?' That question kept coming up ... reminding Spike no matter how much he wished not to, why he loved the slayer so damned much. 'In the past even when she was lost, as she is now, she always possessed this driving force to do good, even if that meant her dying. Maybe that's the reason I am so disappointed with her.' "She gave up" whispered Spike, "How could she do that to me?" He was getting angrier. 'You!' came a small voice in his head, ' All you think about is yourself. How bad it must be for her, if she was willing to go to such length's to get away form all this, and did you comfort her? No! You only worked your hardest to make it worse. You bloody idiot.'  
  
With that Spike grabbed his blanket resolutely determined to find Buffy and make things better. He walked out the door and into the cloudy morning.  
  
  
  
Buffy was just waking up. "Huh?" she asked not recognizing her surroundings. Then the events of the day before flooded into her head. "Dawn is going to hate me even more for staying out all night.... Why cant this just all work out? It just keeps getting worse and worse." Tears ran down her face as she said this. "Why can't I stop crying? It's all I ever do anymore."  
  
  
  
Spike heard someone crying as he quickly made his way out of the cemetery. He walked over to the bushes and peaked through to see who it was.  
  
What he saw crushed him. Buffy hunched over her grave looking lost and confused. "Why can't I stop crying? It's all I ever do anymore." She said miserably.  
  
Hearing that made Spike feel even worse. 'Look what I've done to her.' He thought.  
  
"Luv," he said making his way over to her, while keeping to the extra protection the trees gave him. Buffy looked up slowly. Her eyes where red from crying. "It's going to be O.K. Luv... You'll make it through this."  
  
"Why do you keep hurting me?" Asked Buffy " How is it that you can hurt me so much and comfort me so much. You shouldn't effect me, because I don't love you. I don't even like you." That last part she said unconvincingly, and without the passion that she had said it with in the past.  
  
"It's not wrong for you not to know all the answers," said Spike softly.  
  
"Why do you have to be like that?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Like what pet?"  
  
"So much nicer than I am... So strong and knowledgeable. So good." Buffy cuddled up to Spike and rested her head on his strong chest. " I missed you..."  
  
Both were silent, just enjoying the moment.  
  
TBC  
  
Ps. Does anyone know a good name for Spike to call Xander and Xander to call spike. I can't remember what they usually call each other. 


	3. Caught

All information on the first page of Chapter 1.  
  
Authors note: please review so I know people are reading this.  
  
Caught  
  
"Xander!! Xander!! Open Up!!" Yelled Willow. The worry was getting to her. She and Dawn had looked all around town and were now getting ready to go to the graveyards. They figured if Buffy was there then she was in trouble and they would need backup.  
  
" I wish I could find that blasted key" willow said to Dawn in a quieter but still urgent voice.  
  
Finally a very disheveled Xander opened the door. "What's wrong, and it better be good. It's Saturday, and I have the day off and was planning o-" finally Xander was awake enough to see the girls worried expressions.  
  
"Buffy's missing," said Dawn before Willow could manage to even open her mouth. The tension was killing her. 'What if Buffy was dead and I never get a chance to say sorry. And tell her I love her. She'll die thinking I hate her.' Thought Dawn.  
  
Dawn and Willow explained the situation to Xander as fast as they could.  
  
"You know as much as I hate to admit it, if something could stop Buffy we just aren't going to cut it. We need the Captain Peroxide."  
  
  
  
A slight breeze rustled the leaves above Spike and Buffy as they sat silently next to her grave just holding each other. Buffy felt so fragile like any little thing could break the peace she had found.  
  
"Luv...I'm going to pick you up know and carry you to my place. A breeze is coming up and the clouds look like they're moving. And you see I don't want to be a big pile a dust come night. Anyways you need a good rest." Spike said gently. "You're all worn out. You needed that cry. Been holding it in for so long."  
  
Accepting this Buffy trustingly let Spike pick her up and carry her back to his crypt were he lay her down on his bed and tucked her in just like a child. Where she finally felt safe enough not to let her troubles bother her.  
  
"Luv...I'm going to go see if I can find you some food. I should be back in an hour. Just stay here and sleep." Whisper Spike before he realized Buffy was already in a very deep and needed sleep.  
  
With that Spike Went up to the main level of his crypt and for the second time that day he grabbed his blanket and walked out the door, like a man on a mission.  
  
  
  
Xander knocked on Spike's door waiting only a second before he barged in. Seeing no one on the main level he moved quickly to the ladder going down to the basement, not bothering to close the door behind him, followed closely by Willow and Dawn.  
  
He paused for a second before going down to yell, "I'm coming down Spike and you better not be doing push-ups."  
  
With that he climbed down the ladder. He scanned the room seeing someone on the bed he walked over. "Looks like Dead boy Jr. Took my advice after all and got himself a girlfr-" Xander stood frozen in shock.  
  
"What's wrong Xander?" asked Willow.  
  
"Its Buffy...Buffy's here and sleeping on Spikes bed...Spike cast a spell on Buffy!" Xander decided.  
  
Suddenly they heard a voice up above. "Who's in here" pause "You must be bloody stupid idiot to try to break into someone's crypt without closing the door behind you.'  
  
TBC  
  
Ps. Please review. I'm begging you. 


	4. Truths

All information on the first page of Chapter 1.  
  
Truths  
  
Spike was running through the graveyard with his blanket over his head, trying to get out of the sun. In his right hand he carried a precious bundle of food, he managed to buy it at a dimly lit corner store. Finally he reached his crypt and ran straight through the open doorway.  
  
'Huh?' he thought, 'I'm sure I closed that.' Looking around the room he noticed the open hatch to the basement. 'and I know I closed that.' "Who's in here" said Spike trying to hide the worry form his voice. Buffy was down stairs, alone, prey to what ever demon was down there. "You must be bloody stupid idiot to try to break into someone's crypt without closing the door behind you.'  
  
"Spike?" he heard form below. The voice sounded human and familiar. "Spike get you pale, dead, skinny butt down here."  
  
Spike stood there very confused. This isn't the way a robber was supposed to act. And who dared boss him around. "Why should I? I'm my own bloody man. I don't follow orders from anybody." Retorted Spike sounding very much like a annoyed child trying to disobey his parents.  
  
"Spike, you might want to come down here. Xander looks like he's going to trash your crypt pretty soon." Said Dawn. She was very confused with the situation at hand. And her joy at finding Buffy safe was fading pretty quickly, and being replaced with accusations. "And I would like you to explain why my sister's in your bed. With a good answer."  
  
"Dawn? What are you and the Whelp doing here?" Asked a very disoriented Spike. Finally what was happening clicked in his head as he made his way over to the hatch to the basement. 'The Whelp is going to kill me. I hate that bloody chip.'  
  
Climbed down the ladder he felt as if he was standing in front of a firing squad. 'One bloody moment. I've done nothing wrong. I'm bloody innocent for once. I'll just explain that to them...' 'Sure Spike and they'll believe you. Especially after Buffy lies about it all to save face.' said that annoying small voice in his head. "I hate the unlife." He muttered as he turned to face the judge jury and executioners.  
  
"What did you do to her?" yelled Xander the second Spike turned around. Spike surveyed the room before he spoke. Willow was sitting next to Buffy, trying to wake her up.  
  
"I wouldn't bother trying Red." Said Spike before he could think. "She's so bloody tired that even if you managed to wake her up I doubt she'd be able to make a coherent sentence."  
  
"Again, Spike what did you do to her" asked an increasingly angry Xander  
  
"Don't get your knickers in a knot I didn't do bloody anything." Said Spike forcefully.  
  
"Yeah right. She wanted to come down to your crypt and sleep in your bed. I heard you the other night. You're going bonkers. Last night you were talking about Buffy and her making you her sex slave! I knew there was something wrong then but I figured with the chip and all you were helpless. You've just snapped. You should have known you couldn't get away with this." Yelled Xander. Before Spike could finish his explanation.  
  
"Stop it right now!" Yelled Dawn. "First gross. My sister's name and sex slave should not be in the same sentence. Secondly if you guys would stop yelling you would notice that Buffy is waking up." Dawn was getting more and more confused. What Xander had said reminded Dawn about what Buffy had said while she was attacking her. Something about, sleeping, with a vampire she hates. A smile slowly appeared on Dawn's face.  
  
  
  
She was warm and safe in Spikes arms he had carried her back to his crypt and made everything bad go away. But then he had gone away leaving only emptiness. Then the bad stuff came back. They were trying to pull her away from the warmth. Slowly Buffy realized that it was Willow once again shattering her peace.  
  
" Go awaaay." Mumbled Buffy, " Let me have the peace for once. Let me rest." Vaguely she heard Willow tell the group that she must be drugged or something. She didn't care what they thought as long as she could rest. But before she could find peace again she heard something that shattered her attempts.  
  
"Spike I swear I will throw you out into the sun and watch you burn if you don't tell me what you gave her." Said Xander meaning every word.  
  
Spike was starting to get worried. "Buffy, Luv, you want to wake up now and tell the nice Whelp your fine, and maybe to let me go. I know you need your sleep honey but I really don't want to be a pile of dust.  
  
With that Buffy was dragged back into reality. "Stop." She said with all the energy she possessed, which wasn't very much.  
  
Everyone turned to look at her. "Please stop." She pleaded. "Spike's not hurting me. I'm just tired."  
  
"He really does have her on something. And under a spell to." Said Willow to herself. Turning to Spike she asked, "How could you. I was so sure you loved her."  
  
"He does love me." Said Buffy. "I'm here on my own free will." With that she explained how she had gotten into the situation she was in now. Leaving out the bad parts and the good ones about cuddling with Spike.  
  
"See," she said in the end, "I'm safe and Spike did nothing wrong. So you guys can just leave and I can go back to sleep."  
  
She started to lie down again when Dawn asked teasingly, but of course no one noticed since they had no idea what was going on, "Buffy...don't you want to come home and sleep in your own bed?"  
  
"NO!" she yelled without thinking of the consequences first. "I mean I really just want to get back to sleep. So I'll stay here, if Spike doesn't mind that is." She corrected quickly.  
  
This was the nicest thing Buffy had ever said about him in front of her friends. "Of course you can stay. We wouldn't want you to overexert yourself." He smiled his thanks at her as he said the words.  
  
Dawn saw this exchange and realized her suspicions had been right. Before he new out look on life she gained this morning she would have been mad at Buffy's not telling her but now she was just glad Buffy had found someone. Though she doubted Buffy even realized herself how right Spike was for her. She had probably been fighting this attraction for ages now. 'Probably afraid of what we would think' she thought. "Well maybe I can make it easier for her" she decided that's what she would do.  
  
"I don't like it Buffy" said Xander clue less to what was really going on. He still didn't trust Spike, even if he hadn't drugged and kidnapped Buffy.  
  
"Xander leave it be", said Dawn, "I trust Spike, and so does everyone else. Why can't you give him a chance." With that Dawn stalked over to the ladder and climbed up. A very guilty looking Xander followed her.  
  
Willow stayed behind for a second. "Sorry I got mad at you for a second. I should have trusted you would never hurt her. It's just you know 'Love makes you do the Wacky'" Having said her piece she turned and followed Xander out of the crypt.  
  
Spike still with the shock of all that had just occurred.  
  
TBC  
  
Ps. So what do you think? Review. Give me your ideas for the next chapter. I'm not so sure if I like mine. 


	5. Surprise

Authors note: I want to thank everyone who has sent me a review. And those of you who haven't please, please, please, do I am addicted to these things.  
  
Surprise  
  
"Spike," said Buffy softly, bringing him out of his state of shock. When he didn't respond right away she repeated, "Spike..."  
  
"Yes Luv," he replied gently, as he walked over to his big bed. She was half sitting have lying on it. "Can we start over?" she asked quietly, afraid of rejection. "Without the fighting, just the kindness, like today. I missed talking to you. Being held by you. You've turned into a friend and I miss you." It all came out in a rush. She just couldn't contain it anymore.  
  
"Really pet..." said Spike, 'this was the best day of his life or well unlife. She wanted him. She missed talking to him. Talking, that's right Spike wasn't just for shagging anymore. He was a friend.'  
  
"I still don't love you." Even though the words were cruel she said them kindly. "I don't want you to think I do and then be hurt later. But I think I like you." She had hopeful smile on her face as she said these words. 'Please let him accept this. It's all I can give. Riley was right. I can't love because my heart belongs to another, everyone else is just a rebound, second best. But I feel more about Spike then I did Riley. He may not be Angel but he touches me closer than any other guy has. And now that I can admit that to myself I realize that means allot.'  
  
"We can work on that." Spike said. She had been thinking about Angel. She rarely did anymore, but when she did you could tell. She will always love him. But you can love more than one person. She just hasn't realized that yet.  
  
"Could you hold me again." whispered Buffy, as she lay down on the bed. Needing a couple hours more rest before she could make any attempt on the world. "Please."  
  
Spike lay down next to her and held her as she fell asleep. 'This feels right,' was his last coherent thought before he fell into a deep sleep holding his love.  
  
  
  
"How could we just leave her there?" asked Xander loudly. They were back at the Summer's residence. They had left Buffy and Spike just over 2 hours before.  
  
"Maybe because she asked to be left there." Dawn had been trying to calm Xander down ever since he regained his courage when they were walking through the graveyard. "I trust him Xander, why can't you give him a chance."  
  
"Number 1 he's dead. Number 2 he has tried to kill Buffy in the past. Number 3 he loves her. Number 4 he's insane and evil." said Xander. Listing off his main complaints. He was growing more and more frustrated by the second.  
  
"You trusted him with my life, when Buffy was gone." said Dawn reasonably.  
  
"Yeah, but he's different now, you should have heard him last night. He really thinks she loves him. He's gone psycho." His voice got louder and louder as he became more and more sure of his reasoning. 'How could I have left her with him. He might hurt her. I won't let her down like I let Willow down."  
  
"Maybe she does like him," yelled Dawn before she could think. Xander's bashing of Spike had finally gotten to her. "Maybe she has been sleeping with him. How do you know."  
  
Now she had both Willow's and Xander's attention. Willow's face was full of surprise; Xander's on the other hand was full of disgust.  
  
"I'm going back." said Xander resolutely, " and if I find him anywhere near Buffy he's dust. If he has been taking advantage of her in her time of weakness. He's dust." With that Xander raced out the front door of the Summer's house, and started to make his way back to the graveyard.  
  
"We have to stop him," said Dawn as she ran after him.  
  
Dawn and Willow could not keep up to Xander; he was construction man and was in way better shape than the two girls.  
  
When they finally reached the crypt they slowed down. All of a sudden they heard a high-pitched scream from inside.  
  
  
  
Buffy woke up smiling, feeling safe in Spikes arms. Buffy rarely felt safe since she became the slayer. She hadn't felt like this since she was last in Angel's arms. Spike had gained allot of respect from her in the last while. A year before she never would have thought she'd be comparing him to Angel. With Riley she always felt like she had to protect him from the really bad stuff even from herself. She could so easily have hurt him.  
  
But with Spike she didn't have to worry.  
  
"Hey Slayer." whispered Spike in her ear. He had been lying there for the last hour listening to her breath and her heart beat. Still not believing she was here with him. He heard the subtle change in the rhythm of her heart as she began to wake up.  
  
"Hey." she rolled slightly to kiss him. When he moved to make something more of it she stopped him. " I want us to start over, to go on dates, and be a normal couple. No sex... for a while."  
  
"If we date Xander and everyone will find out about us." responded Spike. He hoped that wouldn't matter anymore but he wouldn't get his hope up before she said so. He also wasn't sure he wanted Xander to know. He really liked being alive or undead or whatever he is.  
  
"So we tell them," at Spikes look she added, " When the time is right. Or, oooh we could tell everyone but Xander."  
  
"I love you," said Spike passionately, with that he moved on to her al little more and kissed her long and hard.  
  
  
  
As he neared the crypt he slowed down to listen for any noise. When he didn't hear any he crept inside, scanning the upstairs quickly. Finding no one there he walked quietly over to the ladder and climbed downstairs.  
  
As he descended he heard mumbling coming from the area the bed was in. "I hope that isn't what I think it is." he muttered to himself. He still didn't believe Buffy would ever get with Spike. Spike was evil at least Angel had a soul. With that though he turned around and looked in the direction of the bed.  
  
Spike and Buffy were in bed together. 'Both of them have clothes on.' Xander thought wildly trying to calm down. 'Maybe it's just for warmth. It can get pretty cold down here." Spike slowly moved over Buffy and kissed he hard. 'She's going to stop him now. Right this instant.' instead she wrapped he arms around Spike pulling him closer.  
  
This was just too much for Xander. He let out one long, girlish, high-pitched scream and then promptly fainted.  
  
TBC 


	6. Author's Note

Authors note: First, I want to apologize for taking so long to get my next chapter out. Secondly, I want to inform you all, that I have made a small change in the story line. I was pretty much-finished chapter 6, when I realized I had been using Anya the entire time. In chapter 5, I had Xander lead you all to believe that I was including the terrible events of Hells Bells in my story. I have decided to alter chapter 5 so the wedding disaster is never implied. I hope this doesn't bother anyone. I will continue this story as if the wedding had never occurred. Chapter 6 should be up in one or two days. Sorry again for the delay. 


	7. Secrets revealed

Authors note: Sorry again for taking so long to update. The whole Anya thing had me very confused on what to do. I made several other chapters that I could use rather than the one I had first written with her in it, but none of them seemed to work. So anyway please remember that the episode "Hells Bells" has been excluded.  
  
Last Chapter:  
  
As he descended he heard mumbling coming from the area the bed was in. "I hope that isn't what I think it is." he muttered to himself. He still didn't believe Buffy would ever get with Spike. Spike was evil at least Angel had a soul. With that though he turned around and looked in the direction of the bed.  
  
Spike and Buffy were in bed together. 'Both of them have clothes on.' Xander thought wildly trying to calm down. 'Maybe it's just for warmth. It can get pretty cold down here." Spike slowly moved over Buffy and kissed he hard. 'She's going to stop him now. Right this instant.' instead she wrapped he arms around Spike pulling him closer.  
  
This was just too much for Xander. He let out one long, girlish, high-pitched scream and then promptly fainted.  
  
Chapter 6: Secrets revealed  
  
"That didn't sound good," said Dawn looking worriedly at Willow. They had just arrived at Spikes crypt when they heard a high pitched scream from the basement. They both looked at each other for a second before running inside.  
  
  
  
A loud girlish scream shattered the romantic atmosphere. "What!" Both Spike and Buffy said in unison, both annoyed at being interrupted. As Spike rolled off Buffy they both turned around, just in time to see Xander faint.  
  
"I guess we don't need to worry about telling him now." said Spike. He thought the carpenter's reaction had been priceless. "Shows how much like a girl he is, always said he was girlie, hanging around with you and Willow so much. Well I bet..." Buffy's glare stored him from continuing.  
  
They then heard Willow and Dawn rushing down the ladder, yelling "Buffy! Xander!" and Dawn included "Spike!" in her list of names.  
  
"What happened?" asked Willow in a rush, then noting the fact that Buffy and Spike were in bed together. "Did he have a heart attack."  
  
"Did you kill him?" asked Dawn before also noting where Buffy and Spike both were.  
  
"No!" replied Buffy angry that Dawn would even think for a second, she would kill one of her best friends.  
  
"I guess you were right Dawn." stated Willow sadly. She felt betrayed that Buffy could have this huge relationship, with Spike of all people, and never mention it to her. 'What had happened between them. They used to sit for hours talking about guys and life. Now all it was work. We never have fun anymore. Buffy was always consumed with just making it to the next day alive.' thought Willow with despair before she realized what she was thinking. 'Oh my god. How terrible a person must I be. I just yelled at Dawn this morning for not thinking about Buffy. If things got so bad in her life that the only one she felt she could turn to was Spike, then things must have been worse than I thought.  
  
"Oh," Xander said weakly coming back to the world of the living. Everyone looked down at him from where they were standing around him. "My head" He looked at everyone. 'They are all watching me.' thought Xander, 'There is Willow. I must have hurt my head, maybe I fell. Hey, I wonder who the rest of these people are.'  
  
  
  
Authors note: So that is completely different then what I was expecting to happen. I had another 3 pages of writing. But I was just typing in what Xander was thinking and it just happened. I couldn't help it. It seemed so perfect. So anyway tell me what you think. Please review.  
  
  
  
Oh that reminds me, I keep on seeing fic's with quotes at the end, and I think the idea is so cool. So... from now on I will be including my favorite quotes from Buffy and Angel.  
  
  
  
Enjoy (  
  
  
  
Giles: "We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction."  
  
Buffy: "Well, I gotta' look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school."  
  
Xander: "Oh yeah, that's a plan, 'cause a lot of schools aren't on Hellmouths."  
  
Willow: "Maybe you can blow something up. They're really strict about that."  
  
Buffy: "I was thinking of a more subtle approach, you know, like excessive not studying."  
  
Giles: "The Earth is doomed." 


	8. Questions

Authors Note: Sorry it took this long to get the chapter out. I was supposed to send the chapter to my friends for them to proof it but my emails messed up and they never received it.  
  
Last Time on Buffy:  
  
After seeing Buffy and Spike in bed together Xander faints. Dawn and Willow hearing Xander's girlish scream come to the rescue to find Buffy and Spike in bed together. When Xander wakes the group is in for a surprise.  
  
"Oh," Xander said weakly coming back to the world of the living. Everyone looked down at him from where they were standing around him. "My head" He looked at everyone. 'They are all watching Me.' thought Xander, 'There is Willow. I must have hurt my head, maybe I fell. Hey, I wonder who the rest of these people are.'  
  
Chapter 7: Questions  
  
"Who are you people' asked Xander, as he stood up and brushed himself off .  
  
"Uh, Xander now is not the time to be joking about things like that." said Buffy.  
  
"Do I know you?" asked Xander confused. "Willow who are these people?"  
  
"You know me?" asked Willow relieved.  
  
"Yeah of course. Jesse and you are my best buds." replied Xander as if that was an obvious thing. 'Boy the blonde is hot. But she looks older that me. Too bad, maybe if I lay on the whole mature thing, she'll go out with me. Yeah right. Come to your senses. You could never get a girl like that. Yes I could.' he argued with himself. Looking at Willow now he noticed the difference in her appearance. 'Hey, what happened to Will, she looks hot.'  
  
"Jesse" Buffy and Willow said at the same time, filling with dread.  
  
"Yeah, Jesse. How do you know him?" Xander asked Buffy. "Oh, did he hit on you, I'm sorry he hits on every beautiful girl. Not that I think you beautiful." realizing what he was saying, he tried to fix it, but only made it worse. "Not that you're ugly or anything... Please just ignore me." 'Yup, she is soooo never going out with me.'  
  
Buffy and Willow just looked at each other. Xander was acting like he did when Buffy first met him.  
  
"Hey, Will, what you do to your hair. It looks good. You look like a college student or something. You just went from the girl I know, to babe magnet in ten seconds flat." Said Xander. He was expecting her to blush but to his surprise she just looked at him. He could not believe then change in her. When he saw her the other day she was all quiet and such. Now, she well, she had this aura of confidence.  
  
"Um Xander lets get you back to, um, Buffy's place." Said Willow. "Buffy is the blond one. The one with brown hair is Dawn." She told him this, as she made her way over to the ladder.  
  
"O.K. sure, if you say so Will." aid Xander confused again. "But uh, why can't we just go back to my house?"  
  
  
  
The way back to Buffy's house was full of questions, that no one could explain to Xander's liking. The biggest one was what was he doing in a graveyard.  
  
Spike stayed at the crypt, not wanting to go out into the sun. Xander made a quip about him being a vampire. Spike found this all quiet amusing, and couldn't wait until the whelp got his memory back, so he could tease him.  
  
When they got to Buffy's house Xander recognized it. "Hey, so you're the person who just moved in here."  
  
After they got inside Buffy phoned Anya, who was at the magic shop. At first she didn't want to close the magic shop, but after Buffy explained what happened she came right over.  
  
  
  
"I say we take him to emergency." said Willow told Buffy and Anya. Xander was upstairs lying down and Dawn had gone over to a friend's.  
  
"I've seen this type of thing before," said Anya. " We just have to wait, until his memory comes back. It should come back in a few days. He suffered a very big shock. Well to him. I on the other hand, figured out you two were having lots of sex ages ago."  
  
"What!?" asked Xander as he came down the stairs, hearing the end of the conversation. He gave Anya a weird look as he entered the room and sat down on the couch. He was wearing some clothes Anya had brought over, they had left the clothes on the dresser in the room where he was sleeping.  
  
"OH, hi Xander, this is Anya. Did you have a good sleep?" asked Willow.  
  
"Will, how about you guys tell me what's going on now." It was a statement not a question. Xander had had enough of this now.  
  
"O.K., how about first you tell me what you remember." said Willow kindly. "What year is it?"  
  
"Willow, come on." he protested until seeing her serious expression, he answered. "1996 of course." He looked at their worried expressions and asked, "what?"  
  
"I think you should tell him Willow. He doesn't know who we are and has no reason to believe us." said Buffy. She couldn't believe this was happening, Yet another thing bad that she caused. The reminder of Jesse, the guy she couldn't save when she first got here was hard.  
  
"Um, Xander, it's 2002. We don't go to high school anymore. And you work as a carpenter," said Willow gently. "As far as we can tell, something traumatic happened and you've blocked everything that happened to you since you met Buffy, out of your mind.  
  
".... Good one Willow you almost had me there." Xander laughed nervously. "Where's Jesse, did he put you up to this?"  
  
"Um, Xander Jesse's dead. He died 6 years ago soon after Buffy came to town. The only reason we're alive today is because Buffy managed to save us." Willow replied, glancing over at Buffy, to see how she was handling all this talk about Jesse. It hurt Willow to talk about him, but she had gotten over most of the pain. Buffy on the other hand blamed herself for everyone that she couldn't save.  
  
"What!" Xander looked frantically around. "I'm getting out of here." He made to run to the door but was stopped by Buffy.  
  
"Xander, I love you with all my heart, you are one of my best friends. I'm sorry but you can't go out there." With that she hit him once and he crumbled into her arms.  
  
~*~  
  
Authors note: Please review. I am yet again begging you from the bottom of my heart.  
  
Angel: (on the Blinnikov Ballet) I saw their production of Giselle in 1890. I cried like a baby (pauses) and I was evil.  
  
Fred: (grinning) I think it sounds exciting.  
  
Wesley: Yes.  
  
Gunn: No. No! This is not Mata Hari. This is tutus and guys with their big- ass packages jumping up and down. This is just... I will never trust you again. The trust is gone.  
  
Cordelia: Oh, get over it. Do we get dressed up?  
  
Angel: Of course.  
  
Cordelia: I'm in.  
  
Angel: Guys, seeing the ballet live, it's... it's like another world. Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're going to be tripping out.  
  
Gunn: Don't be using my own phrases when we've lost the trust. 


	9. Confusion

Last Time on Buffy:  
  
  
  
"What!" Xander looked frantically around. "I'm getting out of here." He made to run to the door but was stopped by Buffy.  
  
"Xander, I love you with all my heart, you are one of my best friends. I'm sorry but you can't go out there." With that she hit him once and he crumbled into her arms.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Chapter 8:Confusion  
  
"What are we going to do?" asked Buffy, she was wearing sweats and a tank top and had just finished beating up the punching bag, at the magic shop. " I'm completely lost, no matter what we say he won't believe us, and we can't keep him tied up forever."  
  
"Oh, I know!" said Anya as she looked up from her seat. Both Willow and Buffy looked over at her expectantly. "Show him the high school, and our apartment."  
  
Buffy and Willow exchanged looks. "How long have you been thinking that?"  
  
"A few hours, but no one asked me and Xander told me not to talk out of turn. Didn't you honey?" she said as she looked over at Xander who was tied to a chair and gagged. He looked back at her frightened, but trying not to show it.  
  
'These people are crazy, they're talking about spells and vampires and demons. They're loony. I have to get Willow out of here. I don't know what they have her on, but that's not my Willow.'  
  
"I can't believe we didn't think of that," said Willow in frustration. It hurt to see Xander's glares, obvious pain and disbelief.  
  
"Don't blame yourself. I'm just smarted than you. Not that anyone ever notices, it's all ignore Anya, she's afraid of bunnies, her ideas can never work. From now on I don't care what you people say, I'm talking all I want, and bunnies are evil." Anya knew she was being unfair and spiteful but she didn't care. 'I want my Xander back, what if he never remembers, and keeps thinking I'm insane for the rest of my life.'  
  
'Did she just say bunnies are evil, boy she's insane, but in a kinda cute way.' thought Xander.  
  
"Um, Anya you know that isn't true. We respect your opinion. And hope you share it with us always, Xander doesn't mean to be stifling, he only wants you to never to be excluded by people, because you aren't tactful, before they get to know the real you. Also most humans find sex talk to be a private thing." Buffy said this gently understanding Anya's anger wasn't directed at them, it was just she didn't know how to deal with her frustration. An awkward silence filled the room.  
  
"Well lets get going. Hopefully, we can get the good old Xander back by the end of the day." Willow announced interrupting the quiet.  
  
"Yes and then we can have sex again." Anya spoke without thinking. "Oops sorry I forgot about the taboo on sex talk. Xander yet again looked at her like a freak making Anya feel stupid. "Stop looking at me like that. I hate you, I want my Xander back." She burst into tears making Xander feel guilty for hurting her.  
  
'She's probably been drugged like Willow, it looks like the blondes are in charge. Hey I wonder where Mr. Peroxide went?"  
  
"Hey, Anya it's going to be O.K., we'll go now and see if we can find something to help Xander get his memory back. He's just confused, you know he loves you. Why else would you be engaged."  
  
'What engaged, well now I know this isn't real. I would never get engaged, I'm going to be a secret agent for the government. Oh my god I've gone crazy. I need water, I'm dying here.' Xander squirmed in the chair. 'Well at least they'll have to untie me, when they take me to wherever they are going to take me, I'll make my escape then. They are just girls, not like they can carry me.'  
  
Just at that instant Buffy easily picked up the chair Xander was sitting on and started to carry him toward the door. 'Oh my God she's a freak of nature on steroids!'  
  
"Come on guys lets get our Xander back!" announced Buffy resolutely. As she walked out the door with Willow and Anya following close behind.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Authors note: Sorry this chapter was so short. It'll be longer next time. Thanks for the reviews, its what made me write this chapter sooner. I'm working on two stories currently and whichever gets the most reviews I update first. (  
  
Favorite Quotes:  
  
From Forever:  
  
Spike comes up the walkway holding a bunch of flowers.  
  
XANDER: You have got to be kidding.  
  
SPIKE: (sighs) I'm not going in.  
  
XANDER: And you're not leaving those.  
  
Pause  
  
XANDER: You actually think you're gonna score points with Buffy this way?  
  
SPIKE: This isn't about Buffy. (Walks closer)  
  
XANDER: Bull. We're all hip to your doomed obsession.  
  
SPIKE: They're for Joyce.  
  
XANDER: Like you care about her.  
  
Spike sighs angrily. Willow steps between them.  
  
WILLOW: Guys, guys, not here.  
  
SPIKE: Care? Joyce was the only one of the lot of you that I could stand.  
  
XANDER: And she's the only one with a daughter you wanted to shag. I'm touched.  
  
SPIKE: I liked the lady. Understand, monkey boy? She was decent. (Xander and Willow exchange a look) She didn't put on airs. She always had a nice cuppa for me.  
  
Willow looks sympathetic.  
  
SPIKE: And she never treated me like a freak.  
  
XANDER: Her mistake.  
  
SPIKE: (scoffs) think what you want.  
  
He throws the flowers to the ground and stomps off.  
  
XANDER: Un ... believable.  
  
Willow looks at Xander, bends to pick up the flowers.  
  
XANDER: The guy thinks he can put on a big show and con Buffy into being his sex monkey.  
  
WILLOW: (looking at flowers) Xander... (He looks at her) He didn't leave a card.  
  
Xander stares in the direction Spike 


End file.
